So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize