it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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