you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
