She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We're too hungover to prance.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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