A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love having hate sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
