How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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