only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize