idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
