that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
