oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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