i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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