you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
