Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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