Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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