I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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