i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
