i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
