I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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