god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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