Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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