I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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