Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
