At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
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