yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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