I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
