shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
