Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize