So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
