Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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