Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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