well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
