Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
