Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
