What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
