oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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