I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
