do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
