I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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