Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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