I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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