We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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