My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
