we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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