His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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