R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
