I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
