Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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