my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
