We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
