The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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