Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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