I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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