One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
