Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
