Pappa wants mamma naked
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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