It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
