it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
