he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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