Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
