Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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