Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
