what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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