When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Girls should come with a carfax report
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
