Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
