Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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