His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
