you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize