You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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