you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
